Ever believed in luck?
Well, until this year I was a firm believer. It seemed that I was just one of those people who were extremely lucky. I felt this way because often-- on none of my own merit-- I was handed exactly what I wanted. It was as if deadlines always seemed to bend. Hours stretched past those 60 minutes that so easily escape.
Pick a topic. I can tell you that throughout my life I got what I wanted in that moment. When I look back on all those things I once wanted I now with new perspective see, that if I had known what was good for me I wouldn't have wished for half of what I got.
Anyway, I have continued making wishes throughout my life. I still make a wish every time I blow out a candle, find an eyelash, throw a penny in a fountain, or see that it is 11:11.
Somehow this way of wishing through life has gotten me pretty far. My luck has gotten me through the things I procrastinated on and just didn't do thoroughly. Well, that is until this year.
This year my streak of luck-- my answered wishes-- has inevitably come to an end. To prove it, I have had two of the worst phone calls that have put an end to my wishing.
I have finally encountered situations I can't just "wish" myself through.
One of these phone class just happened Wednesday. After weeks of hoping for my FBI background check to come in the mail it seemed that I should finally take a proactive approach. I decided to call them. You see, I had been using my usual approach-- you know, just wishing it would all go through and come any day now so I would manage to get everything in for my Visa in time. Not the most take- charge attitude, but it's usually what works for me.
My inquiry led me to the worst possible news. The FBI was backlogged and wouldn't be able to run my measly little background check (I mean to my knowledge all that should be on there is some parking tickets) for another 10 WEEKS. As I quickly calculated how close this would come to the departure date it, I quickly saw that it was weeks pass my departure dates.
How could this be possible-- couldn't they sympathize with my need to extradite this process...
As I sat there allowing the news to settle into my body, I could barely wrap my mind around it.
I mean things are supposed to work out for me. And as the thought that I would not be going to Chile settled down into me, I began to try to imagine this year without me going to Chile.
I couldn't see anything. Nothing that I could visualize. Blank. Blank. Blank future.
A future not worth having. I was COUNTING on going abroad. The hope of going abroad was what made college seem worth it in the beginning. I realized I had been counting on Chile.
That was where I saw possibilities-- where I saw a new life and a new me.
It made me realize that for the majority of my life I have been a person who waits for transformation. I see opportunities, be it traveling, education, a job, or even another person, and that is what I look to for growth.
How much do I know about daily transformation? I don't realize it when it's happening and I am not sure that it is happening that frequently. Am I capable of producing significant changes within myself without the external influences of a program abroad or a conference.
If I can't find transformation and growth in the day to day what makes me so sure the mediocrity in which I allow myself to live will evacuate me when I find that adventure which I am constantly seeking?
How do you transform daily?
P.S.
Don't worry-- I'm still going to Chile. I don't think I have lost all my luck...
Pick a topic. I can tell you that throughout my life I got what I wanted in that moment. When I look back on all those things I once wanted I now with new perspective see, that if I had known what was good for me I wouldn't have wished for half of what I got.
Anyway, I have continued making wishes throughout my life. I still make a wish every time I blow out a candle, find an eyelash, throw a penny in a fountain, or see that it is 11:11.
Somehow this way of wishing through life has gotten me pretty far. My luck has gotten me through the things I procrastinated on and just didn't do thoroughly. Well, that is until this year.
This year my streak of luck-- my answered wishes-- has inevitably come to an end. To prove it, I have had two of the worst phone calls that have put an end to my wishing.
I have finally encountered situations I can't just "wish" myself through.
One of these phone class just happened Wednesday. After weeks of hoping for my FBI background check to come in the mail it seemed that I should finally take a proactive approach. I decided to call them. You see, I had been using my usual approach-- you know, just wishing it would all go through and come any day now so I would manage to get everything in for my Visa in time. Not the most take- charge attitude, but it's usually what works for me.
My inquiry led me to the worst possible news. The FBI was backlogged and wouldn't be able to run my measly little background check (I mean to my knowledge all that should be on there is some parking tickets) for another 10 WEEKS. As I quickly calculated how close this would come to the departure date it, I quickly saw that it was weeks pass my departure dates.
How could this be possible-- couldn't they sympathize with my need to extradite this process...
As I sat there allowing the news to settle into my body, I could barely wrap my mind around it.
I mean things are supposed to work out for me. And as the thought that I would not be going to Chile settled down into me, I began to try to imagine this year without me going to Chile.
I couldn't see anything. Nothing that I could visualize. Blank. Blank. Blank future.
A future not worth having. I was COUNTING on going abroad. The hope of going abroad was what made college seem worth it in the beginning. I realized I had been counting on Chile.
That was where I saw possibilities-- where I saw a new life and a new me.
It made me realize that for the majority of my life I have been a person who waits for transformation. I see opportunities, be it traveling, education, a job, or even another person, and that is what I look to for growth.
How much do I know about daily transformation? I don't realize it when it's happening and I am not sure that it is happening that frequently. Am I capable of producing significant changes within myself without the external influences of a program abroad or a conference.
If I can't find transformation and growth in the day to day what makes me so sure the mediocrity in which I allow myself to live will evacuate me when I find that adventure which I am constantly seeking?
How do you transform daily?
P.S.
Don't worry-- I'm still going to Chile. I don't think I have lost all my luck...
